FRESHMAN DIRECTORY.

THE following directions will undoubtedly be very useful to all who have recently become members of the University.

Monetary business, and any similar disagreeable business which you may have with the College, must be transacted at the Bursar's Office, which is in the old wooden building near the Square. Missing articles may sometimes be found there.

All dusting, sweeping, and other operations destructive to students' property, are done by the Goodies. Their offices are in the cellars of the buildings.

Information as to the reason why you have received postal cards from the Assistant Secretary may be had in University Hall. Go up two flights, and walk right in, without knocking.

"Karl's" is the wooden building with a swing-sign, a few steps down Cambridge Street. Adam's Garden is at the corner of Brattle and Harvard Streets. Forbidden fruit may be obtained there. The Annex is on Garden Street. You must not go there. Opposite the north end of the Yard are the Scientific School, which you must never mention, and the Gymnasium, the building which looks like a church. It is expected that this will be fitted up with apparatus some time before you leave college. A little farther to the east is Memorial Hall, the large building with a tower. To the north of this on - Street are the Divinity School and the Agassiz Museum; but if you wish to be in style, you will be entirely ignorant of their location.

To the north of the Gymnasium are Holmes' and Jarvis Fields. You must always be able to tell what condition they are in. The little yellow building between them is the hospital. All new arrivals from foreign lands are kept there in quarantine for a time. The beautiful brown building on the left is occupied by a number of college societies, which are located near the hospital, so that men who are injured by initiations may be cared for at once. You will appreciate this advantage when you come to be initiated into the Pierian Sodality.

"Parker's" is on School Street in Boston. If you don't know where School Street is, ask a policeman. The Howard Athenaeum may be found any Saturday evening on Howard Street. The reason why the College was located so far away from these places is not known.

Freshmen may attend Chapel; or, if they prefer, may obtain certificates that they are afflicted with violent catarrh. These certificates may be had of any corrupt physician for five dollars.

The small boy in the Library is called a page, and should always be thus addressed. The chairs near the Library desk are reserved for upper classmen.

Subscriptions to the Lampoon may be paid at Whiton's; to the Advocate and Crimson, at Sever's.

The most popular college slang may be learned of almost any present or past member of the Sophomore Class. Dropped men will probably be found the easiest of approach by Freshmen.

"Harvard indifference" is the name of a very pleasant personal quality which is possessed in perfection by the Seniors, and should be acquired at once. The best way of becoming a master of this quality is to watch the Seniors constantly. It cannot be acquired in a day.

Dogs are not safe unless intrusted to Connors, the College dog-man; and then they are not safe, either. He may be found any fine day on the steps of Matthews.

Protection can be secured at almost any hour of the night by appealing to the night watchman, who will generally be found asleep behind University.

Fire-ladders may be found in a locker under Weld. The key to this locker may be found in the pocket of the Superintendent of the Yard; but where he may be found, we are not prepared to state at present.

If there is any thing else that you don't know, ask a Sophomore.

W.