THE CRIME

Mr. Mencken may now add to his list of people who huggermug, who boob, hick and wowse, those who go abroad sensing scents to censor. Certain persons walk about Broadway with their noses in the air, suiffing ozone that is impregnated with biology, straightaway expunge the biology, and go rejoicing on their righteous way. They discover for instance, that The Virgin Man has become The Captive of Sex, and proceed to straighten out the triumverate in a manner that leaves the principles chastened and shamed, and the producers in a state of elation at the success of their little drama.

The so-called Facts of Life, such as cigarettes and harsh language fall violently on the timid souls of the gentlemen who are engineering the present day reforms. Crushed by the evident and inevitable, they rise in their might and throw off the onus and destroy it utterly, stifling it on the front pages of the tabloids, and all lest some spirit now tender and sweet as the violet become aware of these things and grow up into a cauliflower, or something else far removed from violets.

One shudders to think what might happen to a college curriculum if the undergraduates suddenly decided to purify the courses offered for the instruction, or destruction, as the case may be, of the young. There were at least four questions on a recent examination that we took, or were taken by. And we might very well have completely ignored those questions, letting the professor think that we were either zealous reformers, all two of us, or that we were refreshingly ignorant of the Facts. And he would know all along that we weren't at all. In Fact, we probably taught him much of the contents of those questions, the little rascal!

James James

Morrison Morrison

Weatherby George

Dupree

was quite shocked at his Tutor

in Fine Arts 93.

James James

said to his Tutor,

"Tooter," he said,

said he.

"I don't like the style o'

The Venus de Milo.

She's altogether too free."

And then the Tutor got mad, and got up, and got some things to throw. And James James said, "Let me explain myself!" and the Tutor, without thinking, said that he didn't believe that J. J. could be explained, and the last that was seen of the pair, they were removing breakables from the vicinity, and singing, "Just Before the Battle, Mother." Further adventures of J. J. M. M. W. G. D. may be followed in "I Confess," or try your own broker. -R. G. W.