Reasons for Returning

ON my plane flight home from Boston two weeks ago, I met a visiting student from China who had just finished several months of study at a Harvard graduate school. He was on his way home as well.

Several weeks ago, the student turned down a Harvard-affiliated job which would have allowed him to stay in the United States. "At this critical point, [the Harvard administration] would not force me to go back," he explained.

The student also refused several years of free graduate study at another American university. And he rejected an offer of several of his American friends to live with them in New York.

Against the advice of all friends and family, he chose to return to the explosive setting of Beijing when his classes ended. The question on my mind, and on his, was why he had made that decision.

AT the beginning of our conversation, the student was very idealistic about his motives for returning. "[It is] better for me and for China to go back. I love that country," he said. "I want to change the country."

He said that the protesting students "have no idea of democracy," and that his experience here would allow him to "tell people what America is really like."

But he also indicated that more was at stake for him than vague ideals. If he did not return now, he would never return. He would be branded disloyal to China, and would be barred from leaving should he later go home. "I would be a man without a country," he said.

He also feared for his parents and brothers. "They'll be in trouble if I stay here," he said. "They won't be allowed to go abroad [ever]...How can I stay here just for myself?"

The student said that a similar mix of ideals and real considerations had caused the protests. "The students hate the government," he said. "They want to live in a democracy. After ten years, they can't see any change in China."

"Economically, it's also a problem. If you are [a professional] in China you can't get more than $20 a month. 80 percent of my graduate school class [in China] wants to live in the United States."

He said that he saw his roommate from school in China on a television news report about the Beijing protests, and laughed because his roommate is "conservative. You can see the whole country turned around," he joked.

THE student said he wanted to return to China for one year to finish his formal education, visit the United States for several years, and then live the rest of his life in China.

He did not think he would be able to follow his plan. "The hard-line will take over for one or two years," he said, during which time he did not think he would be allowed to visit the United States. "They'll suspect everyone from abroad."

In order to be able to leave eventually, however, he plans not to participate in any demonstrations or rallies. "A lot of my friends will get in trouble if I take an active role; that means they won't let me go abroad [ever]," he said. He will limit his activities to telling fellow students about America.

What will he say about this country? "It is a democracy, but it has its problems," he told me. He said he was perplexed by race relations in America and saddened by extremes of wealth and poverty.

"When I come here, I think that the United States is the center of democracy in the world," he said. "But [American leaders] don't support democracy in China--I don't know why. They could speak directly to the leaders or cut econmic support. Right now I don't see anything.

"The students in China must be very disappointed about this country."

AT the end of our conversation, the student became idealistic once again: "In China, it is a disease of the system, not just one leader. If you just change the leader, today you are the premier and the next day I am premier, but it is still the same system."

"The people in China have suffered a lot," he said. "I have to do what I can."

We said goodbye, he going to meet a friend in New York for a few days before traveling to China, and I taking the next plane to Washington. He assured me that he would be in direct physical danger, and I, at a loss for words, wished him the best of luck.

After our one-hour converstaion, did I fully understand why this student, almost exactly my age, was returning to China against all advice?

Did he?