Profile: who is that masked man?

Current alias: Michal J. Geller '95

First sighting: Denver, CO

Last seen: Leverett House

Area of expertise: Computer Science

Why he spells his name weird: My great grandfather spelled it that way. But no one outside my family knows that, so it's caused a lot of confusion regarding my identity. Like when I wrote to Yeshiva University, an all-male school, asking for an application, they instead sent me an application for the Stern College for women. I sent them back a letter saying that "while I certainly wouldn't mind going to Stern, or at the very least living in their all-girl dorms, I thought you should know that I'm a male."

How he got the exclusive rights to sell Duncan yo-yos in Israel: My partner and I just called them up and they gave them to us. After two weeks, my partner went into the army and left me with a thousand yo-yos. I made a lot of money. People would stop me in the street and say, "Hey, aren't you the yo-yo man?" They never knew a yo-yo could do more than just go up and down before then.

On his attempt to become a living yo-yo by indulging in bungee jumping: I'm just glad the string didn't break.

Where he got most of the unusual furniture in his room: Adams House trash, Quincy House trash, Lowell House trash. I got a pull-out couch from a dumpster. You have to be euxpetitious with your time and resources. One man's trash is another man's treasure, and I've got a hell of a lot of treasure.

Among his more ingenious creations: A refrigerator magnet picture frame, out of a bone. A new zipper for my jacket. A luggage tag. A slinky holder.

How he came to be a master of disguise: It started off as a Purim costume and it turned into an obsession.

Some of the disadvantages that come with being a human chameleon: Once, the Leverett House dining hall checker, Vivian, called the cops on me since I was walking around the dining hall in character and she didn't recognize me. Another time I forgot that I was still in my costume, said "Hi" to a friend of mine and she started running. I guess she thought I was a rapist or something. Then there was that time I knocked on my freshman proctor's door, and he started screaming upon opening it.

Favorite word: Euxpetitious. It means, like, efficient. Useful and efficient. That's what it is.

Can we have an example of euxpetitiousness? My roommate was going to a formal and he didn't have a cummerbund. So we made a bet that if I could make him a cummerbund, then he would have to wear it. So I made him a cummerbund out of the Leverett House JCR curtains. He wore it. That was a euxpetitious use of material.

Comments on the fact that "euxpetitious" cannot be found in the OED: Oh. Well, my roommate and I made it up sophomore year. Since then it's entered the common lexicon. I use it all the time and people are too proud to call me on it, because it sounds like it must be a real word.

Response to accusations that he's a fan of mindgames Maybe so. Heh heh heh. Naw...that's all in your head.