With Visitas on the horizon, there’s only one question on our minds: Can you -tas that? As if “Visitas” isn’t cringe enough, Harvard seems to feel a need to remind us of the ever-present Veritas by throwing -tas at the end of every single word. We’re here to judge some current uses of -tas, and to suggest some others.

The canonical “Partytas”

Any good Visitas story starts with, “We went to Partytas, but it was lame so we left.” With a name like that, how could anyone expect it not to be lame? They might as well name the event “Harvard is a school where your social life comes to die” and at least let prefrosh know what they’re getting themselves into.

The new addition “Karaokitas”

Move over Partytas, there’s a new terribly named and terribly executed social event on the scene. No, Harvard, you definitely cannot and should not -tas that.

The laudable “Carnitas”

Honorable mention to the Latinx community for boasting the only bearable -tas event on the Visitas calendar this year. Harvard administrators have a lot to learn from these innovative leaders.

Securitas? Try Insecuritas: the ill at ease sensation most Harvard students experience every day.
We suggest: “Insecuritas”

Feeling secure seeing all those Securitas signs around campus? Think again, prefrosh. Get ready to be very insecure when you realize that every other member of your class already competed in the Olympics and nailed down a finance internship for the summer of 2020.

We suggest: “Let’s-grab-a-mealitas”

A Visitas event where prefrosh plan to get meals together in the fall, but proceed to forget each other’s names immediately after making the promise. Time to assimilate the prefrosh into the flakey culture of this school.

Happy tas-ing, everyone!