Marie Kondo: Harvard Edition

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By Jasiel D. Lampkin

It’s spring, which means it’s time to clean out your closet (and your life in general), Marie Kondo-style. The KonMari Method says that you should only keep things in your life that truly spark joy. If not, make like Ariana Grande: Thank it, and move on.

Like Kondo does, we have to organize our Harvard lives into categories to make the process more efficient.

Locations

Lamont Library

The smell of desperation and anxiety may be palpable here, but we just love to hate Lamont. Let’s remember that Lamont is always here for us and Lamont Cafe’s chocolate Javiva never fails to pick us up. We definitely feel sparks of joy here: I think we’ll keep Lamont.

Cabot Science Library

Let’s face it: Cabot is a place you go when you want to get work done but just end up staring at your computer for hours not getting anywhere. Getting nothing done definitely doesn’t spark joy. We think this one belongs in the discard pile. Cabot: Thank you, next.

People/Relationships

That One Blockmate Who Never Cleans Up

Maybe they’re a really cool person — we get that — but if they’re adding to the clutter in your life, do you really need them in your space? Thank them for the memories and move on. You can still be friends but maybe you’re not well (suite)d to be roommates.

Your Kinda-Sorta-Not-Really Friend

The noncommittal texts and random meetings as you’re walking through the Yard promising to “definitely grab a meal sometime” are really draining your energy. Think critically about these interactions. Do they really spark joy? If not, thank your friend for being a friendly face and let go of that noncommittal planning.

Academics and Extracurriculars

Clubs

To fully declutter your life and bring about maximal happiness, think deeply about what you’re involved in. Does your consulting club bring you joy? If yes, keep it! If not, maybe reevaluate and think about joining something more wholesome like the Harvard Undergraduate Beekeepers Club instead.

Lecture

Are you falling asleep or failing to hand in those psets? It’s probably because your heart’s not in it. Though you may need this class for your concentration, take a beat and metaphorically throw it away. Understand that this particular class might not spark joy, but it may also just be a necessary evil in your life. Same goes for psets and papers. There’s no way to actually throw them away, but we can pretend. No thank you.

Your Physical Space: Dorm and Digital

That Mug You Keep Forgetting to Wash

We know you keep saying you’ll do it, but be real with yourself — will you ever get around to cleaning that mug? Whether it sits menacingly on your shelf or you leave it in your communal bathroom, it’s time to part ways. To fully declutter your life, the KonMari method tells us that step one is to fully commit. Say thank you, and invest in a cuter cup that you’ll actually want to use.

Your Downloads Folder

Why on earth are three copies of the prompt for that paper you handed in two months ago still sitting on your computer? Unless fewer gigabytes leftover for downloading movies spark joy for you, it’s time to say goodbye.

The Succulent You Somehow Managed to Kill

Your plant used to once be green, but after leaving it unwatered for a bit too long (just as you do yourself on a night out), somehow you defied all odds and killed the plant that you were told was the easiest to take care of. Unfortunately, it no longer sparks joy, so thank your plant for adding some much-needed oxygen and greenery to the room while you did.

Hopefully, this method will help you tidy up your life here at Harvard. But if decluttering your own life isn’t enough, you can always learn more about the KonMari method from Marie Kondo’s book or Netflix special.

TLDR; if it sparks joy, keep it, and if it doesn’t, say thank you and part ways.

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