As pairs of students flock en masse to Harvard Square eateries after Datamatch, employees say the dates bring in welcome traffic.
Well, it’s that time of the year again, the time when loveless (and sexless) Harvard students have their best chance of finding the one who’s missing from their lives. No, I am not talking about the podst-Valentine’s Day spike in Tinder use. We’re talking about the one, the only, Datamatch. If love can’t be found using questions such as, “What kind of infectious disease describes your sex life?” then all hope is lost. With that in mind, FM describes the seven people with whom you Datamatched (whether or not you are excited about them is up to you).
Online dating is a thing people do. I have yet to personally do it, because my love style tends to go something like: meet random person making acerbic jokes about American racial politics; fall into deep soul-macerating love; lose all sense of self and world; have visited upon me the devastation that yea indeed was loosed upon Sodom and Gomorrah; rinse, and repeat.
One couple met through a mutual friend at the end of freshman year. Another met in Annenberg. A third met in the Quincy dining hall. So began the relationships of three couples at Harvard, all of which are interracial.
I was sitting at one of those coveted nook-desks in Lamont Library, merrily typing away at summer internship applications and finishing up some reading before lecture, when suddenly I felt a large, gaping hole emerging in my heart. And then I read Susan Patton’s Valentine’s Day editorial in The Wall Street Journal, and everything became clear to me.
Given the fact that we have shaken hands with over a hundred guys since setting foot at Harvard, we feel as though we’ve gotten a thorough first impression of all of you. Here’s a list of our favorite categories for the lads—try to figure out which mark you left on us ladies.
There are plenty of different types of girls at Harvard, and sometimes it can be overwhelming to remember them all. We've decided to help everyone out. Using a complex process of taxonomy, we have identified ten major categories of girls that you might run into in the next couple of years.