Why We Don't Wear Harvard Gear

No one wanted to wear it. We threw it around the circle like we were playing a game of hot potato, chucking it from one person to the next, shrieking “You wear it!” “No, you wear it!” Everyone wanted to wear Olivia’s other sweatshirts, which were faded and looked vintage, or her fisherman sweaters. To wear the Harvard sweatshirt would mean being the odd one out.

Clothes Pile Graphic

"The sun set on the other side of the river and the air got chilly. My friend Olivia ran back to her room in Lowell to get us blankets and sweaters and sweatshirts."

Down but Not Out

My name is Derek Schaedig. I am a goalie for the men’s hockey team at Harvard; I am a sophomore studying Psychology; I am a writer for The Crimson; and in April 2019, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, more commonly referred to as depression. I am not immune to mental illness, and neither are many student-athletes.


My hometown is ranked 54 out of 100 on the FBI’s Most Dangerous Cities list in 2019, and — based on violent crime statistics — is the most dangerous city in Texas. It is a well-known fact among our population of approximately 65,000.

Every Friday Night

Sometimes, I pretend I’m in one of those getting-ready-montage movie scenes, like the songs from Spotify’s latest pop playlist are actually my life’s perfectly-synced backup track.

Reading Pete

I want to root for the kind of person whose prose is occasionally sloppy, whose opinions aren’t just rigid but also rigorous and sometimes even risky, the type of person who doesn’t need to fall back on Yeats to understand the present day, or who fails to read “Ulysses” because they were doing something other than what was assigned for tomorrow’s class.

To Make a Dumpling

It’s the summer before my freshman year of college, and my mom is trying to teach me as many recipes as she can before I leave for school. One day, she approaches me — she wants me to make dumplings from scratch, all on my own. While I’m usually enthusiastic about cooking together, that day I balk.

That I Can Tell You in One Word

The play is exactly what its pitch promises. Fiddler Afn Dakh. The Fiddler you know, but — to most who are not obscure intellectuals or devout Orthodox Jews —  less intelligible. So why is everyone so obsessed with it?

Money Close-Up

Relationships facilitated by Seeking Arrangement have an explicit financial agreement built into them, in which an older person pays a younger person to go on dates and sometimes to have sex.

Further Realms: Are We Alone?

Alien encounters are usually written off as far-fetched and unproven. Maybe they are. But I think it’s myopic to call them impossible.

Enrolling in Sugar Baby University

The landing page of the Sugar Baby University website greets me with a “student debt clock,” a live update of the combined total that American students owe.

Do You Know What You're Getting Yourself Into?

But spending the money is worth it, because a successful Visitas is imperative for NAHC. We’re a small group, and if we don’t convince enough prefrosh to join as freshmen, our numbers will dwindle. We feel like we have to convince Native prefrosh to commit to Harvard — and once that happens, we have to convince them that we are a community worth investing time in.

A Cultural Masquerade

In the 21st century, maybe it’s increasingly impossible for anyone to have a straightforward explanation for where they come from. We toggle between identities, pulling from a jumble of birthplaces and nationalities. When I pretended to be my American roommate Hannah, maybe it wasn’t a lie, so much as one facet of who I am.

Visitas Graphic

"We don’t spend a lot of money all at once during the rest of the year, so that’s probably why the bank deactivated our card on the Sunday afternoon of Visitas."

If All Space Were Safe Space

I have encountered this feeling in somewhat unconventional spaces: directing a porn film in an artist loft in Oakland, Calif., cheering from the audience as a woman reclaimed her sexuality in orgasm on a New York City stage, and participating in a “sex magic ritual” in a kinky mansion in the heart of New Orleans.

Abandoned House

"In Virginia, my dad found a faulty lock on the door of a run-down, whitewashed church — an easy entrance."

Porn Endpaper Illustration

"It is not the first time I am feeling this way — air light on my shoulders, warmth radiating off the bodies of friends, and a gut sense that my presence, or my humanity, is being realized."

Walking Graphic

"Though some of my classmates had lived in America for years, all traces of their American accents were gone. Mine didn’t go away."

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