Mississippi Monologue

Three days ago, while hitch-hiking south from Memphis towards Jackson, Miss., I chanced upon a man who gave me about a 20-mile lift. After the first few minutes of our ride, he exploded into an excited monologue. With only a few pauses, it lasted for the whole 20-mile drive down the narrow, two-lane, cotton-haul highway between Olive Branch and Holly Springs, Miss. The man wasn't a stereo-typed redneck at all. Obviously a business man, he wore a conservative suit and was driving a small Rambler. His Southern accent was barely perceptible.

After we had exchanged greetings, he extolled the friendliness of the people of his state. "Finest people in the world," he claimed, "and the very best of 'em live right up here in the Hill country." "But you know the trouble with people?" he continued. "People just don't read. And even when they do, they don't know what to do with a piece of information when they get their hands on it.

"Take the Jews. They're all a bunch of orientals, actually. Why I bet 90 percent of the people in this country don't know that David Ben-Gurion is a Zen Buddhist!" I identified myself with the majority. "Well all you got to do is your homework, to find out," he said. "Look. The Bible and science simply do not contradict one another. Some people say they do, but they just don't know their science.

"The orientals, including the Jews, have been on the earth for over a million years. A million years! And the nigra race started up around Kilimanjaro about 73,000 years ago. This can all be proved. It's just that most people don't do their homework. And they don't know what to do with the piece of information when they get their hands on it.

"So both races were already here when Adam and Eve came onto Earth and began the white race. A man named Usher, Bishop Usher, claimed that Adam and Eve were born only 6,000 years ago. But he was wrong. He made an error of exactly 1400 years, and clergymen would tell you so if they only did their homework.

"And if you check your Bible, you will see that the Arabs are part of the white race. Reason why everyone's so hard on the Arabs is, they just don't know they came from Abraham by way of his son Ishmael. But the Jews are an Asian people. The white race is the Scandanavians, the Teutons, the Celtics, the Irish -- some of the Irish -- and the Basques, and the Lombards. The rest of the people come from an Asian race, a Zen Buddhist race, and yet the people of the United States don't even bother to find out about it."

I expressed my amazement, and he went on. "Look -- you can tell a lot from words. Do you know your Bible? You know where the Lord says that no bastard shall be allowed to enter the Kingdom of God unto the tenth generation? Well, we now know that the true meaning of the word bastard was mongrel, or race mixer. But do you see the people of this country paying any attention to the words of God? No!

"What's going to happen, is the Russians and the Chinamen are gonna attack this country one of these days. Then the Jews, the yellowmen, the niggers, and all the displaced persons are gonna join 'em against the white man. We whites are just gonna havta get together and rid his country of all that riff-raff.

"Don't you let people get you on any hate-Germany kick, either. You know how everybody hates the Nazis in this country? Well I'll tell you why. It's because they brought in the Reichmark which threatened to undercut the business of all the fat Jewish bankers in this country, that's why. And you know why Lincoln was killed? Because he was trying to bring in the green-back dollar, and the Jewish bankers wouldn't let him. The man who killed him, Booth, he was a member of the House of Warburg. The historians could find all this out if they just did their homework."

As he slowed down to let me off, my Mississippi mentor left me with a last word of etymological mysticism: "Just so you can see some of the connections I'm talkin' about, look at the similarities between the Jewish race, and nigras and the orientals. Look at the words Judah, Buddha, and Voodah." (Voodoo with a heavy southern slur.) "Doesn't that suggest something?" he hinted. "Now you see why I say David Ben-Gurion is a Zen-Buddhist.

"All you have to do is do your homework."