The blog of The Harvard Crimson

What to do with the Last Two Weeks of School

Although we aren't sure if this is good news or bad, there are less than two weeks left of the semester. Two weeks, people. Whether that makes you jump for joy or sink deeper under you growing pile of papers and review sheets, Flyby’s got you covered with the best ways to take advantage of the beautiful spring weather and looming deadlines.

Have a mid-college crisis…or a three-quarters college crisis…or a one-quarter college crisis…whatever works for you.

We kid, we kid. As we (hopefully) proved to most of the pre-frosh this weekend, Harvard is a fun and happening place. But being swamped in work and behind on your projects is not a bad time to start wondering what you’re doing this all for. If you’re stressed, you can take a run or two around the Charles and watch happy people picnic along the river.

Complain because it’s finally warm out but there’s too much work to enjoy the weather.
It feels like only last week there was a massive pile of snow in the Science Center Plaza...because it was a week ago. With temperatures in the 60s--70s by Thursday!--Lamont is the last place you want to be. That’s what Lamont Cafe is for: strike up a conversation and complain your heart out to anyone who will commiserate with you.

Spend time with friends.
Not that there aren’t some who you’re going to Skype everyday over the summer. But, really, you’re not going to see them for a few months, so it’s better now than never to form a closer bond with that pset group, or share more memories with your blockmates. You could find yourself across the world from one another this summer, so enjoy the little time you have together until next semester. And, if you’re up to it make a new friend. The school year isn’t over just yet!

Use that Boardplus.
Or loan some to a needy friend. Whether you have 50 dollars left or five, word has it that it doesn’t carry over to next year. Use it buy yourself a late and caffeinated night in Lamont Cafe, or treat yourself to some Greenhouse goodies. I personally recommend Greenhouse’s Odwalla smoothies--trying all the flavors will put that money to use.

Clean your room.
Even if it’s the first time all semester. Or year. It’s a great way to convince yourself you’re starting anew, even though (shocker!) there are less than two weeks left of the semester. It’s also the best end-of-the-year gift you can give your roommate. More than that, it’s the perfect way to procrastinate studying.

Work Hard.
Finals are coming. This is your chance to watch your GPA soar! Or plummet, if you wish. Isn’t it fun to have so much control over your fate?

However you choose to spend the rest of your semester, just remember to make the most of it. After all, you only get to go to Harvard once, right?

Spring has Sprung: A Flyby Ode

Ah, Harvard. Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate...wait, it’s only 50-something degrees out.

Still. These breezy warm temperatures are certainly a welcomed shift from the random cold spell that hit Cambridge just a few weeks prior, and we at Flyby are not complaining.

To the colorful chairs, which are finally making their reappearance: it’s been too long. Now is my final opportunity to steal one of you before the year’s over.

To the masses of tourists that come with the nicer weather: yes, I’ll take a picture for you in front of Widener. But not multiple pictures. I’m already late to my section in Sever.

To the fat squirrels: thanks for reminding me that sometimes, fat things that eat all the time are actually kind of cute. Did you hear that, mom? My freshman fifteen is cute.

To the grass that will be green again soon, and the pretty flowers starting to bloom once more: thanks in advance for all of the great Snapchats I’ll feature you in. Can’t wait for #springhassprung #spring #harvard #igohere.

To the happy couple cutely picnicking in the middle of the Yard: please share your secrets to maintaining a relationship. How do you do it? Do you even go here? Do people really fall in love at Harvard? What a magical thing.

And to all of the prefrosh who are wearing cold-weather gear and big red Harvard knapsacks while us students wander around in lightweight sweaters and J. Crew shorts: don’t mind us, we’re just taking what we can get. My iPhone says it’s only going to get warmer from here, so unless there’s a freak reading period snowstorm, hopefully this beautiful weather is here to stay for good.

How To: Do Visitas Right

Visitas, Harvard’s annual pre-freshman visit weekend, comes only once a year. If you’re not a jaded upperclassman, this weekend represents an important time to showcase the fun side of Harvard, proving to young high school students that this place is more than its midterm season. But on the other end, visiting pre-freshman have big questions on their minds - will I fit in here? Is Harvard ~right~? If you’re in that boat, this post is for you.

Many freshmen that visit claim to be worried about whether or not they’ll be able to compete academically on this campus. Whether or not this is actually a guise for name-dropping other options like Stanford, Princeton, or Yale is unclear, but it’s important to know that Harvard students primarily like to compete on how little work they’ve done on the problem set due the next day or how screwed they are for their next exam, rather than for levels of success. So during Visitas, spend less time asking people about classes and more time asking people about their favorite other people on this campus. That’s what actually matters – you’ll probably have an A- average anyways.

Don’t blackout this weekend. We know, we know, you’re so excited to be experiencing college and final clubs are the best thing to happen to anyone ever. It’s not that your reputation of being that kid who couldn’t handle himself this weekend will last – we know that this can easily be accomplished through incessant Facebook posts instead. Rather, too many a young pre-frosh has wasted his four years of work in high school by getting too drunk at Visitas and ending the weekend with a rescinded letter of acceptance from Harvard. You’ve seen a movie about teenage drinking before, so take shots of water and let the placebo effect carry your night away. You also aren’t a student here so the Amnesty Policy, though it’s another good reason to commit, doesn’t count for you yet.

At the end of the day, Visitas is really all about meeting friends who will become your lifelong partners-in-crime and who will speak at your wedding. Indeed, for an entire week of freshman year, countless students consider meeting up with their BFFs from Visitas before abandoning the notion and making friends with other people instead. But believing that you’ve found your crew and then realizing you’ll never speak to them is one of the most important parts of the Visitas experience - try to make sure you don’t miss out on the fun.

At the end of the day, this weekend should be a fun, lighthearted one. Know that Eleganza and its dancing are not the norm of Harvard parties, but hopefully some of the best conversations you have this weekend are. Enjoy yourself, and we’ll see you again with your little red Harvard key chains next fall!

Listen Up!: On Love and Neopets

Hello, Harvard. It’s your two favorite advice gurus back at it again, Betty and Hyemi. Last week, we asked you to submit your burning life questions to us (which you can still do here), and now we’re here to answer them. We’ve done some deep and introspective soul-searching and came to the conclusion that being part-time advice columnists is our calling in life, so we hope you appreciate our wisdom.

Am I hooking up with too many people?
Hyemi: This seems like one of those questions where you want to hear the answer “no” for affirmation, so no, you are not hooking up with too many people! But in all seriousness, maybe you can ask yourself these questions for evaluative purposes: Am I spending too much time hooking up with people and not enough quality time with friends? How many “productive” nights in Lamont did I forgo to have #pillowtalk with my hook up buddies? Is the pillow talk with some of my hook up buddies even good? Alternatively, you could just go with the good old-fashioned “whatever” and not question your ways since the semester is coming to an end anyway.

Betty: If you have to question whether you’re hooking up with too many people, you’re probably hooking up with too many people. But no judgement, I respect the hustle.

Send some cute emojis to ~casually~ ask your date to formal!
How do I ask a guy to any of the formals coming up?
Hyemi: I would personally go with a cute little text message followed by a string of seemingly-related emojis to make it look low stakes.

Betty: When in doubt, Bumble it out. Everyone loves being asked to formals, and if for some reason your Bumble boo says no, it just wasn’t meant to bee...

How should you act around a guy you’ve hooked up with once but haven’t spoken to since? :/
Betty: As the wise Henry David Thoreau (Harvard College Class of 1837) once said, “Be yourself—not your idea of what you think somebody else's idea of yourself should be.” In other words, the only person you should be around this guy is the very best person you are: ~yourself~ :]. And if you haven’t spoken since your hookup, is it because this guy hasn’t responded to you yet, or is it because you’re waiting for him to make the next move? Because if it’s the latter, stop waiting. Be proactive and get the ball rolling again. Text him, insta dm him, poke him, challenge him to a game of Facebook basketball. But all the while, act like nothing or nobody but your beautifully unique self.

Hyemi: Thanks for the emoji, really conveys the ~confusion~ and ~frustration~ of our generation’s hook up culture :/. Being that I am an intrinsically awkward person (ex. I get social anxiety when someone is holding the door into Sever for the person in front of me and I don’t know whether I should run to catch up or purposely walk slower so I open the door myself), I would have major hesitations reaching out to him first. If you’re like me and appreciate the low-risk approaches, maybe you can start with a like on his Instagram or Facebook post as a “hello, I remember you and am acknowledging your existence so I hope you appreciate this gesture.” From there, it could build up to prolonged eye contact followed by a smile if you happen to cross paths with him at the fateful Science Center Plaza between classes. Good luck, and please report back to me because if you couldn’t tell, I am personally invested in this now!

Betty: Honestly, I was always a Webkinz kind of girl. Come to think of it, I actually made myself a new Webkinz account one fine day in Lamont last semester while “studying for finals.” Pro-tip: you don’t have to purchase a Webkinz plush from your nearest pharmacy anymore to make an account!

Hyemi: Yes, always. The highlights of my Neopets career were playing Meerca Chase and decorating my Neohome with trendy furniture. A major low point was when the evil ghost would steal my Neopet money– seriously, not nice!

That’s our advice for this week, but please continue to tell us your life problems and ponderings and you bet we’ll be back with solutions.


Betty and Hyemi

Do's and Don’ts of Formal Season

It’s mid-April, and do you know what that means? Yes, you will soon have to walk into your final exams, woefully unprepared for the horror that awaits you. And yes, you will wonder whether it’s too late to refine your competitive eating skills so you can make that your profession because Applied Math probably isn’t going to work out after all (sorry Mom and Dad.) But before that catastrophe, you get to experience formal season. Whether this is your first formal season or you just never really got the hang of it, here are some do’s and dont’s you should live by.


DO: Dress nicely. After all, this is a formal event, not an “I woke up at 10:15 for my 10:00 class, and I’m late even with Harvard Time” situation. Wear something that expresses you.

DON’T: Feel like you have to spend a lot of money on a brand new outfit. Everyone is there to have fun and no one is judging you based on what you’re wearing (Read: No one will remember what you wore).

DO: Wear something you’re comfortable jumping around in. You’re not going to have any fun if you can’t get your groove on.

DON’T: Wear anything you’ll start to regret once you’re surrounded by approximately 268 of your classmates in an enclosed area.


DO: Ask someone if you want to. Just text them or ask them next time you hang out. If they say no, you can still carry on in a normal friendship with that person (I know, shocker).

DON’T: Feel like by asking this person to formal, you are extending your hand in marriage. It’s completely acceptable to just take someone as a friend.

DO: Know that it’s okay to go by yourself or in a large group too. If you feel you’re an independent person who don’t need no date, you do you.

DON’T: Stage an elaborate ‘Promposal’ style situation to ask your date out if you don’t know he/she will say yes for sure. Save yourself potential embarrassment and be chill when you ask someone who’s response you are unsure of.


DO: Buy your tickets early (Especially Freshmen!) Tickets can run out quickly, and you don’t want to miss out on formal just because you procrastinated too hard.

DON’T: Pregame so hard you can’t even remember getting to the formal. It’s no fun if you’re the kid that passes out before you even start dancing.

DO: Look for policies concerning guests and/or deals because they might be different at every formal. Exhibit A: Kirkland gave out a free vintage Housing Day t-shirt with every ticket purchase last year.

DON’T: Pull a freshman class of 2017. If you do, Harvard might just decide it’s not worth it to have formals, and what would we do then?

Take the CEB’s Social Psych Survey: It’s Worth It

Too many surveys.

We here at Flyby are pretty sure that’s the thought that’s been going through your brain the last week as all of your classmates, spurned forth by the prospect of an end-of-the-semester assignment, have tried all manner of creatively annoying ways to get you to take their social psych surveys. So when the College Events Board posted “Take my psych survey” on the Yardfest events page, we lost it: “What freshman got a hold of the FB event and thought it would be a good idea to pub out their homework?”

But, you know, being the endlessly curious people that we are (aka being the typical bored college students dodging psets), we clicked on the link. What was the worst that could happen?

This is the only time we’ll suggest it: Click the link. It finally happened. Steve Aoki is confirmed for Yardfest 2016. If you’re a fan of electronic music, jumping up and down furiously and having food smashed in your face, then be prepared to have every orifice on your body filled with cake at this year’s Yardfest. If not, well we don’t know what to tell you. We hear Apple Music is great this time of year.

And here we were freaking out, thinking that our Yardfest artist had bailed on us and that we would have to turn up to the nearest Spotify playlist while some of our peer institutions vibed to Chance the Rapper and Fetty Wap. Not to mention that the good ‘ole CEB has graciously allowed Harvard students to bring guests for the first time in Yardfest history. Tickets are $20, and only a limited number of them are available. If you want your bae from Boston to get turnt with you this Yardfest, you better hurry, or else you’ll be left with no choice but to skip on over to the nearest karaoke bar for a date and hope that they don’t dump you.

Here’s to what’s shaping up to be an awesome Yardfest.

How To Be an Eleganza Model

Eleganza Models 2016
The chosen ones

Today marks T-5 days until Eleganza, Harvard’s annual charity fashion show/display of human magnificence in dancing form. It's hard to believe that the day is so quickly approaching. It was just a few months ago that many a runway hopeful showed up to the show’s open auditions (contrary to what one might expect, it turns out that Harvard’s campus is filled with aspiring models). But everyone knows that Eleganza is extremely selective, taking only the absolute crème de la crème. In case you find yourself among those who had their modeling (read: dancing) dreams crushed by Eleganza auditions, don’t be so quick to despair--here’s Flyby’s guide on how to be an Eleganza model, so you can kill the auditions next year.

High cheekbones are an absolute must for any Eleganza model. Aim for at least a 120° angle by always looking slightly above every person's head. You want to be able to cut diamonds with your jawline.

Practice a seductive, smoldering gaze. How do you suck in your cheeks without looking constipated? Practice on your roommates. On your classmates. On your TFs! If you’re still having trouble, Tyra Banks has some good instructional videos on how to Smize made just for people like you.

Spend the summer learning how to move your body. If you think this is all about modeling, think again. Eleganza models are multitalented creatures, so if you’re just a pretty face, this isn't the place for you. Don’t be afraid to break out those dance moves--the more seductive, the better. A good benchmark for what Eleganza dancing is like is to consider how your parents would feel if they saw your performance - if the answer is "slightly uncomfortable," you’re golden.

Finally, aim for a certain "je ne sais quoi." This is probably the hardest of the criteria to master (because developing an extremely sharp cheekbone-and-jawline combo is quite easy). Unfortunately, there’s really no straightforward advice we can give here. Basically, Eleganza models are particularly cool and edgy. If you’re not, well, maybe a quick trip to Urban Outfitters will do the trick?

And even if you find yourself rejected once again by the modeling industry, don’t be too hard on yourself. I mean, you always have Harvard to fall back on.

Break-Up Tips for Blockmates You Don't Want to Room With

Well, it’s that time of year again folks. Hard as it is to believe, the 2015/16 school year is coming to a close, and while you procrastinate on those final papers, at least you’re able to get a head start on something for next semester: rooming drama.

You don’t think it will happen to you, but it will. Whether you’re a freshman realizing that there’s that one blockmate that you absolutely could never live with, or an upperclassman who figured out too late that your blockmate has a habit of leaving hair behind in the shower drains, everyone at some point will have doubts about rooming with a friend. It’s not that you don’t like them, you just don’t want to share a bedroom with them.

So now’s the time to plan your escape route. Never fear, because Flyby’s got some strategies to help you break it to your blockmate that you don’t want to room with them.

Send them a card in the mail
Who doesn’t like getting real, authentic snail mail in 2016? Millennials live for this nostalgic #throwback to simpler times. So buy a cute card and write your blockmate a note explaining that you cannot stand the idea of tolerating their snoring for another second, let alone another school year. They’ll enjoy novelty of the mode of communication so much that they’ll forget to be sad!

Use the architecture
Pore over your house floor plans and construct a reason why, architecturally speaking, your chances in the rooming lottery are better if you enter as a group of 3, not a group of 4. You can’t argue with such solidly grounded logic.

Use the math
If your house uses an averaging system – whereby the group’s number is the average of all the members’ individual lottery numbers – you can invoke the Law of Large Numbers to make your case (thanks Stat 110). The idea is that the bigger your group, the more the average of all those random numbers will tend towards the overall mean of all the lottery numbers – so the less likely your group is to end up choosing rooms first or last. Explain to your blockmate that you like to live on the edge, you want to take the risk of ending up last for the chance of getting the best suite in the house, and so you want as small a group as possible. They are the weakest link, goodbye.

Be sneaky
Just file your rooming preferences without consulting the person you want to leave out. Once they’re with the housing administrator, there’s nothing you can do about it. Nothing.

Be the mature, partially-Harvard-educated adult that you are and talk to them
As if anyone actually does this though.

Accept your fate because you are a coward
Acquiesce to their request and let them join your rooming group. Begin filling our your transfer forms for next semester.

There you have it. Some foolproof ways to wimp your way out having tough, real world conversations by finding semi-legit excuses. May the odds be ever in your favor.

What to Expect from Visitas

In less than a week, hundreds of hundreds of admitted pre-frosh from the Class of 2020 will descend on Harvard’s campus for the annual Visitas program. For current freshmen and those upperclassmen who may have forgotten the effects of the three-day program on student life, we here at Flyby have you covered on what to expect when you’re expecting (prefrosh, that is).

This coming weekend there will be long (or longer) lines and fewer seats in the dining halls, especially Annenberg. Prefrosh and their families will also pretty much take over the restaurants in Harvard Square, so if you’re planning on dining at Felipe’s, Pinocchio’s, Tasty Burger, or even Chipotle, plan on having to wait for an extended amount of time for tables and meals.

There will likely be a loud atmosphere in the libraries, especially Lamont. So if you’re planning on knocking out that statistics pset at the library, make sure you’re prepared to work amidst incessant chatter. It’s gonna be #lit.

The only thing better than getting admitted to Harvard is taking pictures of it and posting evidence of your time here all over social media. From prefrosh who will ask you to take a picture of them and their families on Widener’s steps to those overly eager to photograph your suite (with or without your permission), expect flashing cameras through the weekend. And expect to end up in the backgrounds of dozens of pictures, unknowingly, as you fight your way through the prefrosh crowds in the Yard. You've finally made it on this campus - enjoy the moment and the opportunity to get to know these un-jaded new students.

Visitas is all about meeting new people, of course, and so there will be many new Facebook requests from prefrosh whose excitement can add to your own now that your blocking group has fallen apart with next year’s rooming drama. If you look like a freshman, you could also fall victim to aggressive efforts from clubs and groups who’d like you to join them next fall. This could, however, be a beautiful opportunity for you to ~start all over~

We were all prefrosh once, so cut the Class of 2020 some slack. They’re depending on on us for a great Visitas experience, especially because this visit will largely determine their decision to commit to Harvard. At the end of the day, Visitas is for one thing: making sure freshman don't make the great mistake of committing to that little school in New Haven.

Crimson Careers 101

As the end of the school year rapidly approaches, the lucky few who already received internship offers are resting easy and merely securing where they will live over the summer. Others are just hearing back about internships and are consulting with their advisors, weighing their options and applying for grants. Then there are the rest of us, still making a mad dash to get our foot in the door somewhere before we spend another summer alternating between lying on our parent’s couch while watching TV and laying outdoors getting a nice tan. Luckily for you, we here at Flyby have compiled a few jobs from Crimson Careers that might be of interest. While they’re not internships at Goldman Sachs or Mckinsey, these jobs are sure to add value to your resume while keeping you occupied over the summer.

Crimson Careers 101
Harvard student on the search for an internship

Para La Tierra: Endangered Bird Internship in Paraguay

Do you enjoy saving birds that are on the verge of extinction? Do you want live in Paraguay? Do you even know where Paraguay is? Answer yes to any two of the above, and this internship might be the perfect one for you!

Ginkgo BioWorks: DNA Padawan Internship

This internship seems like it came straight out of Gattaca. With the fun slogan, “We aren't trying to study biology, we are trying to build it, you can finally make your dream of creating a super organism come true. In case you aren’t fully proficient in genetic engineering, the “Ginkgo Jedis” will be there to give you a kind helping hand.

Fundación Runa: Ethnobotany Internship

Here’s a job for all the outdoorsy people. Fundación Runa is looking for an intern to lead a study on local healing practices and herbal medicine in Peru’s Amazon rainforest. Very inspiring, but try not to get hurt there, it sounds like you’ll be miles away from any modern medical facility.

ROOSTERGNN Global News Network: Journalism Seminar Internship

For those of you who merely want to give the impression of having worked an internship over the summer, a transatlantic flight to Spain may be in your future. While I’ve never come across a listing for a “seminar internship” before, if it’s anything like Harvard seminar, you won’t be doing any work, and you’ll tell people it was life changing getting a crash course in something from an expert in the field. I’m sure you’ll be able to spin the experience so that it looks good on your resume after lounging in Spain for the summer.

So there you have it. These are all of the quirkiest jobs on Crimson Careers that will give you a great answer to where you “summered” while also building a killer resume. Happy hunting!

HUPD Crime Log: 3/31-4/7

March 31, 2016

Officers dispatched to a report of an individual on a bicycle looking into several motor vehicles. Officers arrived and report individual gone on arrival.
Just looking at how the other half lives.

April 1, 2016
Officer dispatched to take a report of two stolen social security cards, an Amtrak rewards card, and personal papers from an individual's mailbox.
“Damn, they took both of my social security cards! I guess this means no more secret identity”

April 1, 2016
Officers dispatched to a report of an individual inside a secured and restricted access only area. Officers arrived and located an individual sitting in a computer chair with all the lights off. Officers proceeded to conduct a field interview on the individual. The individual was run for wants/warrants with negative results. The individual was then placed under arrest for Breaking and Entering as well as Trespassing. The individual was also given a verbal trespass warning for all Harvard University property.
“Welcome to my Meditation Sanctuary. May you all find your inner computer”

April 2, 2016
Officer dispatched to a report of a syringe in the area. Officer arrived and report collected syringe and disposed of properly.
Just another Chem Lab gone awry.

April 4, 2016
Officer dispatched to a report of a hazardous condition. Officer arrived and report a hydraulic line that let go from a Cambridge Landscaping salt spreader. Members of Cambridge Landscaping arrived and were applying speedy dry to the affected area. Officer stayed on scene and directed traffic until spill was contained and cleaned up.
Someone’s salty.

April 4, 2016
Officers dispatched to monitor a demonstration. Event was ended early due to a disruptive audience.
Tough crowd, huh.

April 5, 2016
Officer dispatched to take a report of property damage to two stairwell doors.
Time to take the elevator.

April 5, 2016
Officer dispatched to take a report of a past forcible breaking and entering into a maintenance room. A white Cannondale bicycle valued at $1,000.00 was reported stolen.
Came in looking for a broom, left with a bicycle.

April 6, 2016
Officers dispatched to assist with locating a previous lost iPhone that was pinging in the area. Officers arrived and report issue was being handled administratively.
Who needs Find My iPhone when you have HUPD?

Check back next Friday for our next installment of HUPD Crime Log!

What Harvard Doesn't Teach You

There’s no denying that the students here at Harvard are smart. But when it comes to basic, everyday tasks, there are some things that Harvard kids just don’t get. Common sense is just not our forte. Here are a few things that Harvard doesn’t teach us:

How to Do Laundry

“Wait, where does the pod go? Will it just magically dissolve in the wash? And why is there a fabric softener option on my washer? I thought the fabric softener went into the dryer? Oh my god, laundry costs 1.50 per cycle?” And, unless you are one of those salmon-colored walking billboards, “why on earth are all my dress shirts pink now?”

These are the thoughts going through the heads of the laundry-uninitiated.There’s a strange nuance to doing laundry that doesn’t quite manifest itself at Harvard. Here, laundry is something done between psets. Clothes are hastily piled into the nearest free machine, set on their 34 minute cycle, and forgotten about (often for hours) until something in the back of your mind makes you put down your pencil and finish your laundry load. The result: mountains of water-logged garments cluttering up hot laundry rooms, and undergraduates complaining on their respective class Facebook groups about “those people that don’t move their laundry.” In the real world, there’s a tightness to doing laundry, and some would even argue an art. Harvard just doesn’t teach you that.

How to Cook

Why cook when there are dining halls that are stuffed with food? Sure, the food isn’t exactly served up by Chef Gordon Ramsey, but it is edible, and on many occasions, pretty tasty. Not to mention the square shops always waiting with their doors open to take you money and fill your skin with adipose. Except for the ones that have unceremoniously closed *ahem* Panera *ahem.* There’s so much ready-to-eat food around that if you do get to use your dorm’s communal kitchen, you are a rare outlier that needs to be worshipped. Or, depending on if you’re that person that keeps setting off the fire alarm at 2 AM, burned in effigy.


Harvard is a money-full place (and apparently a place where you can make up your own words, too.) Even if you are on a tight budget, the exorbitant nature of the campus and the ridiculous money traps waiting to waylay you on your way to class make budgeting an afterthought. Sometimes, a worried financial aid officer will hold a finances workshop, but chances are the lessons go in and out of your head just like last week’s 9 a.m. lecture.

How to Deal with the Unspectacular

There’s always something out of the ordinary going on around you when you are here at Harvard. Top-level government officials, ex-Presidential candidates and world renowned authors seem to stalk the campus, always ready to give advice or to have a meal. The reality is that, once you leave Harvard, you probably won’t be surrounded by that regular influx of spectacular people and things.

That Free Food Does Not Exist in the Real World

College clubs get students away from their p-sets, their beds, their failed—or successful ;) —attempts at “Netflix and Chill” with the allure of free food. It’s everywhere. We here at Flyby even write a daily guide to help you figure out the best events to mooch sustenance from. But when you enter the big, crazy world you trade long lines for free food in Boylston Hall to long lines at the grocery store for marked-up cartons of eggs. Trust us: you’re going to miss those annoying pub emails that promise free churros at noon if you come talk about sexual health when you’re doling out the majority of your paycheck on sustenance.

Don’t worry about Mumps at Mather Lather. You’re safe.

The theme of Mather Lather, a College-wide foam party hosted by Mather House hosted every spring, this year is #FOAMO. But to be honest, given the recent mumps outbreak at Harvard, are you really missing out if you don’t go?

Word on the street has it that Mather consulted medical experts to determine whether or not the party could end up as a hotbed for mumps. After hearing this tip, we knew it was time for another famous #FlybyInvestigates.

When asked about whether or not the party’s organizers consulted Harvard University Health Services, Mather House Faculty Dean Michael D. Rosengarten responded affirmatively.

“I had a long conversation with Dr. [Paul] Barreira about mumps and the Lather, and he indicated Harvard is not discouraging large group events including the Lather.” Barreira is the director of HUHS.

That’s great! HUHS isn’t discouraging parties in general! But “the Lather” is not a normal party. Students have previously gotten rashes from the foamy gathering, and I wasn't ruling out mumps just yet. So I continued the investigation.

Mather House Committee co-chair Trevor A. Mullin ’17 reiterated that Barreira was consulted “to make sure Mather Lather did not pose a threat to the health and safety of students.”

“To my understanding, they were told that the College was not discouraging large scale gatherings and that the environment of Mather Lather did not provide an additional risk to students as compared to any other large-scale gathering.”

So it seems like Mather Lather will be safe from mumps this year. Still, that won’t stop me from taking at least 10 showers after the party is over.

Listen Up!: Back at it Again with the Important Questions

Listen Up is back and better than ever!
Listen Up is back and better than ever!
Dear Harvard,

It’s ya girls Betty and Hyemi, day one homies since Freshman Orientation Week, relentless blockmates, and the dynamic Flyby journalistic duo. We’re two fun-loving junior girls living in Dunster, and we want to share our vast pools of knowledge and wisdom with the rest of Harvard. So we’re bringing back Listen Up, your favorite and most reliable biweekly advice column, where you ask the questions and we provide sage answers. Don’t worry, submissions are anonymous and we know you have burning questions about life. How can I practice good hallway bathroom etiquette? What is the best flavor of Rubinoff (Hyemi: The answer is none.; Betty: The answer is not none.)? Why does the HUDS apple crisp not taste as good anymore? Are we actually getting a Yardfest artist?

Submit your questions here about anything and everything, and leave the rest to us.

Let the games begin.


Betty and Hyemi

Good Degree, Better Food: Best Harvard Concentrations

As Advising Fortnight draws to a close, students and faculty alike vie for the attention of freshmen at various concentration events. Of course, the best way to to get college students to like you or to sign up for your stuff is to shower them with free things. So, for the overwhelmed freshmen trying to choose a concentration, Flyby has a foolproof way to narrow down your choices: It all comes down to food.

After all, if you’re going to spending the next three years mingling at concentration cocktail hours and senior thesis dinners, it’s important to know what kind of food you’re getting into. Here were some of the food highlights from Advising Fortnight.

South Asian Studies takes top prize for best concentration with some tasty samosas and chicken tikka at their advising event. If you’re like us at Flyby, then you can never pass up on good South Asian food and chai!

Music came in with a strong second place with their platters of mini sandwiches. (Quite fancy—they were even labeled with small toothpicks.) Bite sized desserts rounded out a worthwhile advising lunch.

Plenty of Thai food was going around at the Applied Math fair. A hoard of freshmen crowded Ticknor Lounge to eat some pad Thai and wide rice noodles. Rumor has it there was even enough for students to take some leftovers for later. Any excuse to skip more Berg meals is a good one, we were told.

Tagged as an Ice Cream “Social” (because “Social” Studies), the interdisciplinary concentration had plenty of flavors of Lizzy’s ice cream available. Students threw chocolate sauce, sprinkles, and cherries on their own sundaes. Flyby thinks that’s a pretty solid reward for committing to write a thesis.

The Economics department was prepared for a party with twenty boxes of pizza for their prospective students. Flyby was a little disappointed that we made the trek up to the third floor of Littauer only to discover cheese pizza. We were told that “toppings were coming later,” but it was unclear if the pepperoni ever showed up. We guess you don’t need to put in too much effort when you’re the largest concentration at Harvard.

We know that choosing among Harvard’s 49 concentrations is hard. But keep in mind, the quality of food at advising events will probably be the only thing you remember from Advising Fortnight, so why not make it worthwhile? And for all of the upperclassmen lamenting HUDS meals and worried about their job prospects… it’s not too late to switch concentrations.

Flyby Investigates BerryGate; Which Berry Are You?

After the uproar surrounding UC funding and berries (#BerryGate), Flyby thought it was essential to create a quiz that determines what berry is most representative of your personality. Because at the end of the day, berries are no laughing matter.

It’s Friday night. Where are you?

A) A huge dance party, surrounded by your 25 closest friends.
B) A sleepover with your 2 best friends.
C) Tagging along with whoever you happened to see before you left school.
D) Writing on your anonymous blog that hates on people from school.
E) Initiating phase 2 of your plan for world destruction.

You see someone drops $10. What do you do?

A) Pick it up and rush after them to return it. While you’re at it, get their name so you can hang out with them this weekend #MakingNewFriends.
B) Pick it up and hand it back to the person who dropped it.
C) You don’t even notice the $10 on the ground.
D) Pick it up and give it back to the person, but while they thank you, steal the rest of their wallet.
E) Keep the $10 and use it to buy drugs which you then bake into brownies and hand out to kids at a park.

What’s your ideal date?

A) Anything’s fine as long as I get to be with my SO
B) Chilling at home while you make dinner and watch a movie.
C) Speed dating. Why tie yourself down to one person?
D) Somewhere really expensive so you get a quality meal out of them before you break their heart and leave them.
E) You can’t stand people let alone the thought of dating them.

Someone insults you. How do you react?

A) Laugh it off and be friends. Life’s too short to hold grudges.
B) If it’s someone you don’t know, take them to task. If it’s your bestie, let them know you’re insulted, but don’t sweat it.
C) No one knows you well enough to actually insult you.
D) Don’t react, but 2 weeks later get them back.
E) Go completely ballistic and create a huge scene.

You’re at a bar. What are you drinking?

A) I’m already on the dance floor sober, I don’t need a drink
B) I’m more of a wine and cheese kind of person
C) Whatever I get handed
D) Jungle juice
E) Straight vodka

What’s your strongest quality?

A) Friendliness
B) Loyalty
C) Carefreeness
D) Manipulation
E) I don’t care about anyone else which leaves me free to do anything I want

Where’s your dream home?

A) Surrounded by my loved ones
B) A small suburban neighborhood
C) I don’t see myself settling down
D) An apartment in Manhattan
E) A damp, dark cave

What’s your favorite subject at school?

A) Recess
B) Calculus
C) Quantum physics
D) Philosophy
E) Organic chemistry

Now take a look back at which letter you picked the most:

Strawberry (A): You're friends with everyone. You’re a very versatile person and fit into a ton of different kinds of situations. You compliment others very well. (Fun fact: Scientifically, strawberries aren’t “berries.” They’re accessory fruits. But we at Flyby like them so much that they’re on this quiz anyway.)

Blackberry (B): People that don't know you might find you to be kind of horrible, but to the few people you’re close to, you're loyal forever, and they can always count on you to be there for them.

Banana (C): You don't really fit in anywhere. You're the kid that has everyone going, "She doesn't even go here." Your role in friend groups is really ambiguous. But everyone still thinks you’re cool.

Cranberry (D): People think you’re sweet, but that’s because you cover up your bitter and sour personality with a sugary façade. Once you get down to the core, all that’s left is cynicism.

Deadly nightshade (E): You're just an awful person. You're poisonous to people around you, and literally kill any and all chance of relationships with others. It would be best if you existed in isolation.

Yours Botanically,

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