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No Place Like Home

More B.S.

By Bruce Schoenfeld

Somehow, it wasn't what we expected.

While half of Cincinnati paraded through the city's streets during the annual opening day celebration, a crowd the size of a freshman seminar braved the rain, cold and uninspired baseball at the Crimson's home opener yesterday.

And during the horrible afternoon--an afternoon in which glimpses of sun were as prevalent as Harvard runs (i.e., none)--the following truths revealed themselves to myself and the rest of the select few:

"You can't win a ball game if you don't score runs," courtesy of a Harvard pitcher.

*You can't score runs if you don't hit in the clutch.

*You can't hit in the clutch with Mark Belanger playing shortstop against you.

*There ain't nothing to do during a rain delay.

*Getting wet is no fun unless it's in a shower or a swimming pool.

*Our infield is every bit as good as I thought it was.

*Either BC's John Cooper is a pro prospect or those twelve-walk laughers have put the bats in a coma.

*The one wooden bat in the Crimson rack is a John Wockenfuss model,

*All the aluminum bats probably are, too.

*The Harvard bench runs out of chewing gum along about the third inning.

*I never get any even when they have some.

*Other teams love to beat Harvard.

*Boston College is the quintessential other team.

*Eddie Farrell looks like Lou Piniella.

*The lacrosse team won.

*The guy who puts the numbers up on the scoreboard out in right is manager Dan Doctoroff.

*Nobody sitting in the stands can see the score board.

*Winthrop athletic secretary Doug Richards goes to a lot of Crimson baseball games.

*Not many other people do.

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