Bets and Hyemi freshman year awkwardness
What’s up, Harvard? Guess what– your favorite journalistic, blockmate/BFF, crime-fighting (not really) duo is back to answer all your burning questions in our biweekly advice column, Listen Up! That’s right, we’re Betty and Hyemi, just two senior girls living in Dunster who want to share all of the knowledge we’ve accrued from our time here at Harvard with you. We know you’re all dying to benefit from our guidance before we graduate. And did we mention that we offer advice pertaining to a ~wealth~ of topics? Want to impress your TF? We can help you there. Need help getting the attention of that cute guy you always see at LamCaf? Yep, we got it. Exhausted all other methods of procrastination and need something else? Oh, do we have solutions for you.

Submit your questions here because how could you possibly turn down advice from those two lovely faces above?

Below are some questions we received from last semester that we’re going to answer because we’re #responsible:

What’s your worst date story?

Hyemi: My worst date story is actually from a date back in high school that I wasn’t even on personally, but was third-wheeling to introduce two of my friends to each other. I was setting up my best friend with another friend I knew from class who both expressed interest in each other but for some reason felt too weird hanging out without me (see, not my fault). We went to see the movie Lincoln, and when my friend Bob (fake names or else both parties could potentially murder me for sharing this publicly) entered the row of seats in the theater, my best friend Jane hesitated sitting next to him so I went in next and sat between them. Let it be known that watching movies is my least favorite activity ever, especially at movie theaters because I basically pay for a nap. Yes, I fell asleep as soon as the trailers started and when I woke up, Lincoln was dead and the movie was over. Jane and Bob eventually went on a real date without me and had a lovely little fling, but they told me that the movie date was the most awkward 2.5 hours of their lives. Oops.

Betty: My worst date story is that I’ve never really been on one. Pretty brutal. I hope my parents don’t see this. Hit a girl up, though.

When is it appropriate to fart in front of a significant other?

Hyemi: Oh my goodness, this question was made for us. Betty and I love to talk about our digestive health – and for all of you judgmental readers, health is wealth! This is one of those questions that is super ~probing and revelatory~ about how comfortable you feel in front of your significant other. If you spend a lot of time with your significant other and like to go out to eat, chances are you will probably have to #LetItRip at some point. If it’s not one of those “oh my goodness who just unpeeled 5 million hard-boiled eggs” farts, I’d be fine letting it loose because your significant other will probably find it cute in one of those “aw, this is relatable” and “yay, you feel comfortable enough in front of me” ways. And if it’s a deadly one, save it for a fight.

Betty: This means everything to me. I am a firm believer in the mantra “treat yourself,” and you can’t “treat yourself” if you’re feeling the flatulence. It’s simply never a comfortable situation. I will never trust anyone who thinks that passing gas, if you will, is inappropriate or disrespectful. Anyone who forces you to hold in the cheese is a sadist. Sometimes, you just gotta relieve the tension. Especially in front of your significant other. And if they can’t handle the heat, kick them outta the kitchen asap. That being said, let her rip. Treat yoself.

Like what you read? We know you did, so submit your questions here!