Hello. Do you know me?
That's right. I'm the guy who writes some of the basketball articles for The Crimson.
Come on now, stop laughing.
Oh, but you're laughing out of pity for me. You think that covering Satch Sanders's boys is about as exciting as watching the credits for "Rich Man, Poor Man." And why? Because you've heard the team has no talent, heard about how the coach doesn't get along with his players, and heard that Doc Hines and Roosevelt Cox are playing House basketball instead of the real thing.
In short, you're ready to believe all this and sum it up in a nice little analysis which gives the Crimson basketball team about as much chance of winning a game as the Porcellian Club has of admitting women.
Well let me ask you something, Barry Basketball. When was the last time you were at a hoop game? Let alone a Harvard one.
Can't remember, huh. Think an offensive foul is when a player burps during a time-out, do you? Well, with that in mind, let me call my first witness to the stand, B.C. pivotman Bob Bennifield.
Last Saturday night, five seconds after the final buzzer had sounded, signifying the Eagles' narrow 75-71 win over Harvard, Bennifield took the ball, dribbled to the top of the key, took off, and slam-dunked the thing right through the hoop.
Pretty conceited, huh? The kind of thing Harvard fans would greet with chants of "BORING, BORING."
Well, that wasn't quite the response at Roberts Arena. The place went bananas: 1472 screaming lunatics cheering and acting like Charlie's Angels had been extended to 90 minutes. All of them failing to realize that their team had come out of the contest barely alive and close to defeat at the hands of a gutsy, comebacking Crimson squad.
None of those 1472 cared that their highly touted team of last season had gone 9-17, they all seemed to realize that it was a new season, with new faces, new hopes and new chances to be rowdy and supportive. And if they criticized anything, it was constructive and based on what they saw and not what they heard.
So why am I saying all this? I know you're all too busy studying to waste your time watching a bunch of "minor leaguers" run around for two hours. But you are the same people who won't be too occupied to see the hockey team face a Boston University squad that's already 0-5.
I'm just afraid that Saturday night, when the cagers open their home season against CCNY, the bleachers of the IAB will be spotted with a smattering of devoted friends and relatives. Give these guys a chance. They have a good attitude, never quit, and show as much chutzpah as Brian Petrovek facing a breakaway. They deserve all the maniacs that the fourth floor of the IAB can hold.