As a new semester rolls around, it’s time to sit back and truly evaluate your roommate situation. Regardless of whether you’re so close you literally sleep in the same bed (you should stop; that’s weird), or you haven’t seen your roommate since opening days, this quiz should help you make sense of who you’ve actually been living with for the past few months.
Rate the overall quality of your roommate(s):
1) LITERALLY MY FAVORITE HUMAN(S) EVER
2) I love them!
3) They understand my vine references, so we get along well enough.
4) I’m basically living with a stranger(s).
5) They’re actual poison. I demand a refund.
Does your roommate(s) have any annoying qualities?
1) No, they’re perfect!
2) Sure, but I have the exact same ones!
3) Yes, but we communicate and that’s what’s important.
4) Yes, and it’s driving me crazy.
5) Yes, and I have a spare toothbrush at my friend’s dorm because of it, so I don’t have to go back to our room at night.
When your roommate(s) asks you to grab dinner in the Berg, you:
1) Don’t even reply (because *obviously* you’d be sitting together), and head to your usual table.
2) Reply immediately that you’d love to and you can’t wait.
3) Say yes, but only because none of your friends are free.
4) Lie and say you have homework, and then grab dinner with your friends in The Square so you don’t run into them.
5) This would never happen because you actually can’t stand each other.
Your roommate(s) doesn’t have plans for spring break and suggests you should go on a trip together. You:
1) Scream. You can’t believe they read your mind!! (Okay, actually you can)
2) Start looking for possibilities right after you two discuss the subject!
3) Are genuinely excited about the idea and ask if maybe a few of your other friends could join.
4) Say that you already have plans, but they’re welcome to join (you secretly hope they say no).
5) Say that you already have plans (you would NEVER travel with them) and avoid speaking about the subject.
Would you consider blocking with your roommate(s)?
1) Yes, we’re going to be together forever!
2) Yes, of course!
3) I’d consider it, but I’m not entirely sure if it’s a definite yes.
4) No, I wouldn’t want to live with them again.
5) I’d actually transfer to Yale if I was stuck with them for another three years.
Mostly 1s - Congrats! You and your roommate are practically married (although still in the honeymoon phase). In your eyes they can do no wrong. There’s a possibility you might be a little too obsessed, though. Remember, your roomie is only human!
Mostly 2s - Sweet! You lucked out with the roommate lottery. You and your roommate are simply meant for each other. Grab some markers and glitter and write a thank-you note to the Harvard Housing Gods.
Mostly 3s - You’re doing well. You and your roommate may not be best friends, but you don’t hate each other, and that’s what counts. This kind of roommate relationship lets you have your space when you need it, but still gives you someone to chat with when you’re lonely.
Mostly 4s - Uh-oh. Sounds like there’s some bad juju going on in your room. If you can’t stand your roommate, there’s a few ways to make it better. Try talking to them and expressing what’s bothering you so much, and maybe you can reach some sort of understanding. If communication doesn’t work, you can always look into switching. Or stick it out and get yourself a Canadaddy — who even needs their own room anyway?
Mostly 5s - YIKES. It’s time to call your dean! We don’t like to jump to assumptions, but we’re pretty sure your roommate is the devil incarnate. Try checking for horns tonight when they fall asleep.