Outgoing Harvard CFO Says ‘It’s Time to be Very Cautious’ Amid Rising Economic Turmoil
Harvard Women’s Hockey Program Investigation Marks Eighth Athletics Review Since 2016
Describing Gap in Current Activism, Harvard Undergraduates Form New Queer Advocacy Group
Newly Elected HUA Officers Share Goals, Priorities During First Meeting After Taking Office
Harvard Students Developing App to Connect Boston’s Unhoused People with Essential Resources
Although unsurprising to most, I’d call myself a “Hunger Games” expert. However, not in the way you may imagine. Most fans of the franchise preoccupy themselves with trivial Gale versus Peeta debates or fan edits from “Catching Fire.” I, however, hope to display my extensive knowledge on the most pivotal franchise known to modern society through a list. While it is a daunting task, I took it upon myself to craft together 10 of the biggest mistakes rookies would make in the Hunger Games.
10. Being Too Excited
Stepping off the platform too early means certain death. Being blown up before the Games even start is sadder than being chosen to fight to the death amongst 23 other kids. At least give yourself a chance.
9. The Early Bird Does Not Catch the Worm
This is for those who rush to the cornucopia immediately for a chance of a sliver of its treasures, including several crackers and empty bottles. How could someone see 23 other people storming towards the area holding the weapons — all with a high motive to kill you mercilessly — and say “Wait for me! I want in!” Not running as fast as you can in the other direction makes you the problem in this scenario.
8. Staying Put
If there isn’t a bigger sign to keep moving than tsunamis, murder monkeys, poisonous fog, and hallucination birds all in rotation on a timed clock system then maybe you should have convinced someone to volunteer in your place.
7. C.Y.T. (Check Your Tree)
If you decide to seek refuge amongst the many trees in the arena, at least make sure there are not ravenous creatures lurking in the shadows. How Katniss slept all night unaware of a ginormous hive of vicious genetically-altered wasps right next to her head, I will never understand.
6. Don’t Sleep Stupidly, Sleep Smartly
Even though Katniss slept next to lethal insects, those under the tree ended up dying once the hive landed on them. Again, there was no reason to sleep under that tree, the hive was very visible. Sleep wherever you so please, except in a location with a visible threat to your life.
5. Learn Anything
You get several days to learn any sort of skill with any weapon with specialized trainers all to your disposal. Yet, nearly half of the tributes died missing an arrow shot or not being aware of how nets work. Learn something. Learn anything.
4. Not Being Peeta Mellark
If Peeta Mellark taught us anything, it is the power of flight over fight. Know how to paint yourself like a rock and you will survive. (Having a highly trained archer tending to your wounds for half of the games also helps too).
The smartest tribute in the 74th Games died by eating poisonous berries. While it’s seemingly hard to distinguish poisonous berries against normal ones, training involves learning different food sources and plant types. If you didn’t study for the fight of your life, that’s on you.
2. Thinking You Are the Girl on Fire
A nice warm fire sounds amazing in the freezing cold of night, right? What does bright flames coupled with visible smoke not have in common with hiding from trained predators in the dark woods? Survival.
1. Not Staying Alive
Haymitch tells Katniss to “Stay Alive” and she does. I would follow Haymich’s advice on this one.
—Incoming Comp Director and Film Executive Monique I. Vobecky can be found anxiously awaiting the release of the tickets for the fifth Hunger Games movie and debating that the last movies in the series, “Mockingjay” Parts 1 and 2, are not that bad. You can reach Monique at firstname.lastname@example.org or on twitter at @moniquevobecky to refute this opinion; however, only serious, evidence-based inquiries will be considered.
Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.